Present To Myself

Juicy Couture Raglan Sleeve Pullover, 79.99

Believe it or not, I will begin my second quarter of SENIOR year in September. That's right folks, I am two quarters shy away from graduating (but I will still walk in June).

This last quarter, well probably this last school year, was pretty difficult.

I encountered the equivalent of my Senior Synthesis class for my Humanities Degree, the Humanities Capstone. I thought it would be easy, like all the other senior synth classesmy friends took, a snoozefest that resulted in an easy A. I was wrong. I was dead wrong. From the teacher who did not let even shy students get away with not participating, to endless papers rife with policy on education, to the culmination of a 30 page paper for our group  of three to turn in (ours ended up being 59 with the bibliography) AND a presentation of our final policies for the entire college (okay, so only five people showed up). Did I mention the teacher was hard? And the drama teacher he brought in to prepare us to be public speakers was even more challenging (at one point she told us to go to the seventh floor of a building and yell down to the sidewalk, asking people the time. If they could hear us then we had loud enough voices. I wanted to punch something). Through that entire class, the one where I considered dropping the entire major so I wouldn't have to go any more and had convinced myself it would be alright to have one degree), and where one girl said she literally had never had a class where the assignments felt beyond her reach, I struggled, cried in front of my class, and yelled afterwards.

Throughout the same time, because I am a glutton for punishment, I decided to commit to being healthier again. I went to the gym every morning for about three weeks at 6:40am, ate with awareness, and tried to drink more water. Then finals week came, and the bad habits came along too, with a vengeance.

Now it's the week after school has let out and I am finally piecing it altogether. The residence halls have closed and I am no longer an RA, a bittersweet memory. I am back in with my family, in my newly painted room with flat screen TV. Costco is hoppin', and I get 30 hours a week. On my days off, I schedule play time (other than this week which was for cleaning and organizing) pretty aggressively.

My final paper for Latina Literature was entitled Weaving the Thread Across Decades: The Significance of Clothing in Latina Literature. Like themes that weave their way across my life, there is one article of clothing holding together the two proudest moments I've had this week. It is shown above.

I am working out at the gym every day again, this time at 8am. I am making a more serious effort to eat healthy, and it helps that all the adults in my house are trying to do the same, despite the Twinkies in the pantry staring us in the face, leftover from when we shoveled in lard by the mouthful. I bought the above as a "goal sweater", something to fit into as a reward for getting fit and avoiding diabetes. Unfortunately, it already fits now, defeating the purpose of a goal to work too. Granted, it could look way better with a flatter tummy, so into the closet it goes.

Before I even considered the weight repercussions, I thought to myself, the day that I finished my public presentation; sweaty, nervous, and my voice catching in my throat, that I deserved a gift. My eyes gleamed and my first thought was "iPad!". But Ally is po and can't afford that. Then I saw the above sweater: Beautiful, sequined, Juicy Couture. And I said to myself, "Self, you do need a gift. It is this sweater". It arrived Monday, but the real gift came today, in an email. Grades, to be specific, two As and a B+.

You best believe one of those As was in my Capstone class. So delicious.