The One That Wins Will Be The One Who Hits The Hardest
I really was honestly just trying to enjoy my Thai after a looong day at Costco. Halfway through my chicken pad see-ew, my brother and I were having the same fight we always have. As usual, my mom was the referee, an admittedly biased one who does not want to see her baby live under a bridge (true story). It goes something like this:
Andrew: When I grow up, I want to live with you and your husband.
Ally: Welp, that's not gonna happen.
Andrew: Yessss!
Tonight's developments--->
Then I proceed to tell Andrew, "You know why I don't foresee letting you live in my house? Because you never say you'll make any attempt to get your own place first. Which means you won't have a job. Which means you'll live with me forever".
To which my mom interjects, " No he won't!"
Me: "Andrew, why can't you just live with mom and dad?"
Andrew: "That's not manly! Plus, they'll probably be dead".
At which point the conversation either comes to a standstill, but is at the same time about to escalate.
And THEN my brother pulls the trump card. Or the unfair card.
He cries and buries his face into my mom's armpit, while my mom looks at me with half a smirk because this is so comical and childlike but also with a look like "see, you just made your brother cry".
(Sidenote: It is not that hard to make my brother cry crocodile tears. He has a bed full of stuffed animals for crying out loud).
Except, even though I kind of think my brother is manipulating me to make sure I let him live with me, I also hear a genuine fear in his voice that he is going to live under a bridge. A real fear.
So I force my brother to my side, give him a hug after he blows his nose quite forcefully twice, and I tell him the following, " Andrew, I love you too much to ever let you be unsafe, hurt, or living under a bridge. If that you means you live with me, then you live with me. Because you are my brother and I love you."
And then he proceeds to say thank you , spill his medicine on the kitchen counter, then head downstairs. And I finally get to finish my thai.
Andrew: When I grow up, I want to live with you and your husband.
Ally: Welp, that's not gonna happen.
Andrew: Yessss!
Tonight's developments--->
Then I proceed to tell Andrew, "You know why I don't foresee letting you live in my house? Because you never say you'll make any attempt to get your own place first. Which means you won't have a job. Which means you'll live with me forever".
To which my mom interjects, " No he won't!"
Me: "Andrew, why can't you just live with mom and dad?"
Andrew: "That's not manly! Plus, they'll probably be dead".
At which point the conversation either comes to a standstill, but is at the same time about to escalate.
And THEN my brother pulls the trump card. Or the unfair card.
He cries and buries his face into my mom's armpit, while my mom looks at me with half a smirk because this is so comical and childlike but also with a look like "see, you just made your brother cry".
(Sidenote: It is not that hard to make my brother cry crocodile tears. He has a bed full of stuffed animals for crying out loud).
Except, even though I kind of think my brother is manipulating me to make sure I let him live with me, I also hear a genuine fear in his voice that he is going to live under a bridge. A real fear.
So I force my brother to my side, give him a hug after he blows his nose quite forcefully twice, and I tell him the following, " Andrew, I love you too much to ever let you be unsafe, hurt, or living under a bridge. If that you means you live with me, then you live with me. Because you are my brother and I love you."
And then he proceeds to say thank you , spill his medicine on the kitchen counter, then head downstairs. And I finally get to finish my thai.
posted by Ally at 9:35 PM
5 Comments:
If it's any consolation, once he hits his teens, he will forget he ever asked you this and probably won't want anything to do with you!
That's what my mom said too.
Remember he once told your mom and dad that they would have to bring him Christmas dinner because there's probably no kitchen under the freeway.
tough love ally, tough love
Lol, that's actually something you need to publish in your memoirs...I could picture the whole thing.
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